Free Falling
☙ Stop thinking about the landing, because it’s all about the falling. ❧
~ John Green
Falling can mean many things.
Falling can bring embarrassment, pain, and loss. Falling in front of strangers, onto the hard ground - or from status - are not generally acknowledged as enjoyable experiences.
But falling can also be beautiful. Elation, joy and peace can accompany falling in love, falling pregnant, or when we allow heavy feelings to fall away.
I believe there is confusion and resistance that often comes with falling because, in most cases, falling is out of our control, and a loss of control is rarely celebrated in our society.
Being in control is associated with high-powered, effective, impressive and successful people. Conversely, we assign a specific type of negativity to those deemed 'out of control,' judging them as constantly struggling and, therefore, unsuccessful.
Even though I should know better, I can get upset and down on myself when I fall because, by this time, I should be in control, right?
Correlating failing with falling comes up a lot in dance class, even though some of the most essential skills that we learn as movers have high-risk fall factors, such as balance, weight transfer, revolutions, and elevations.
How can we master these skills without falling? Do we really want to?
We cannot, and no, I really don't think we want to.
I champion falling because I know that it is crucial, and not only that, it can be really fun. The circumstances I will describe are dance-specific but can be applied to lots of life experiences.
📈 Data Mining
Take a fundamental skill such as standing on one leg. To strengthen this skill, we must continually increase the challenge, which inherently increases the risk of falling.
This is a form of data mining, taking note of what we can achieve at that moment and what we cannot. Therefore, scientifically, falling gives us information on how we can better achieve optimal results.
So why do we get frustrated and upset when we do fall? We're knowingly pushing the boundaries of what we can do, using the precise result of a fall to show how much further we need to go, and then we face annoyance or disappointment when we stumble, tumble, or flat-out hit the ground.
I think it's because we're so geared towards immediately arriving at the final product. So rather than enjoying the process of getting better, we want to be the best right away. If we placed value on the learning process, wherein we discover, uncover, and analyze data, we would enjoy a much richer experience in our achievement. Trying to skip, what can be considered the 'tedious' research phase, we're robbing ourselves of deep and complete understanding.
Enjoying the process is like a gift that keeps on giving because our knowledge and understanding constantly shifts and swells when we pay attention to the never-ending variables involved.
For instance, our mental state plays a significant role in how our body reacts and behaves. Thus, understanding the relationship between our moods and feelings provides endless insight into who we are and how we physically respond in all kinds of situations. This is personal and profoundly valuable data that sometimes only falling can provide.
🧾 Proof of Attempt
Shame is strongly linked to falling, and it goes back to the negative idea of being out of control.
I believe that falling means you have released enough inhibitions and worries that plague us all, such as comparison or self-doubt, to try.
An adult dancer recently asked me if it was harder to teach adults or young children, and in all honesty, they both have challenges. But for me, it is harder to watch the adults beat themselves up when they fall.
Many adults have had years of practice associating the experience of failure with being a failure. Whereas many kids think it's a downright gas to get something wrong. They giggle (sometimes to the point of falling down) and do 'the wrong thing' repeatedly on purpose because they like the sensations, the attention, the knowledge that they could do it a different way but are choosing not to. They are inspiring rebels!
And yes, it can be wearing trying to correct them, as is part of my job as their teacher, but falling or failing is an act of participation - and for some students, an absolute triumph.
Doing it, even doing it poorly, incorrectly, and even flamboyantly wrong, is doing it! It is proof that an attempt has been made, which is the first step in doing it right.
💪🏽 Resilience Building
For many, the fear of falling comes from the physical pain it can induce. Falling down hurts, and at times can be devastating. Our bodies are fragile, unpredictable vessels that we need to protect to survive.
The phenomenon of babies enduring severe falls or serious impacts is both literal and metaphorical proof that it can be the resistance to falling that hurts us the most.
What if, instead of bracing against or attempting to defy the fall, we surrender? What if we relax and let it happen, trusting that our bodies will know what to do?
If that sounds way too impractical, we can explore the actual and intentional discipline of falling, which is probably the closest to being in control of the experience as possible. But, like anything else, there is a technique to falling, and it takes practice.
Recognizing the risk or the certainty of a fall should not be a deterrent but an opportunity to get good at doing it. Practicing falling means you can fall safely if caught off guard, which is the scariest time to fall.
Getting back up doing it again, even with the threat of falling all over again looming, is what we in the biz call resilience. And how limited our dreams would be if we were not well-versed in resiliency.
There is also the practice of self-care after a fall. Of course, we can't pretend we are super-human, and the effects of a fall are immaterial. But knowing how to look after ourselves holistically, should we need time to recuperate, is a super-power we all can cultivate.
🌎 Humility of Humanity
Falling is dramatic. Without being too cynical, I think the threat of a fall is what captivates an audience for many elite athletic performances.
Although our physical capabilities may differ from theirs, we recognize ourselves in them as human, and we all know to err is to be human. So we wait for it and watch for it...and we connect to whatever may happen.
Also, we live on Earth, where the weight of gravity keeps us heading downwards at all times. So even when we can break that law and find ourselves moving upward, we know there is only one inevitable ending to this experience - down.
This is true for everyone, regardless of the level of mastery of their art. If you reside on this planet, you will always be compelled to the ground.
In this way, falling is a shared experience that is so relatable and common it's actually neutral. It cannot be deemed as good or bad - it just happens, so we might as well learn to accept it if we are unable to enjoy it.
But I do hope you enjoy it. I hope you remain curious and open about what it feels like to fall; how valuable the experience is for your development, artistry, and identity.
Please connect with me and share your thoughts about what it feels like to fall. It's time we all learned to love the trip.
Yours,
Miss Jen
