Unpopular Opinion: Goals Aren’t Great
☙ The journey is the destination. The process you're in is the goal. Success is never defined by the outcome but by the process. ❧
~ Paul Young
Goals aren’t great — hear me out.
Imagine you are an absolute beginner dancer. You've worked up the courage to take your very first class. Finally, you have the proper clothing, the right teacher, and the perfect number of people in your class; you are ready to go.
What are your goals? What are you hoping to achieve by taking this class?
You could want to try something new, become more active, or have fun with friends. And for the first few classes, all those things may happen.
But there may come a day when the class doesn't feel so new anymore, or your body is sore, and as you face more challenges having fun seems less likely.
And that's OK; you tried something new, increased your activity, and had a few laughs. As a result, you achieved all your goals.
So, now what?
Here's another perspective: imagine an experienced dancer who aims to perform as 1st soloist in a prominent ballet this season.
They have worked their entire life and made many sacrifices for this goal. They have kept their body happy and healthy, and it only gets stronger with each class. The feedback from their teachers/director indicates they are on the right path, so they audition for the part and wait.
When the cast list comes out, they do not receive the part they wanted and are crushed; they have failed to meet their goal.
So, now what?
In both of these examples, goals have become limiting. Either they are achieved, or they are not, and then what?
If we are only motivated by an outcome, or we use a perceived result to do something, there can be such disappointment, loss or confusion when we do not meet that goal - or even when we do.
But 'goal' is such a good word! The idea of goal-setting has been used by highly successful individuals and groups in every discipline, from sales to personal development.
Hmm.
Another issue with goals is that they are commonly used as an incentive for good behaviour.
Many times in class, I've said something like, "You want to look good on stage. Well, you better pay attention now." This is a classic example of using the ideas of 'looking good' and 'performance' as incentives for students to modify their behaviour in the studio.
This strategy could be non-effective for a couple of reasons:
First, the student may not be interested in 'looking good on stage.' They may be terrified of performance, and using stage time as a result of good behaviour during class may encourage them to act out even more, to get out of performing.
If we continue to teach that working hard is a tedious chore but essential to achieving the fun reward, the correlation between progress and pain only gets more robust, and the joy of learning is lost.
My brain likes lists, and I love ticking items off my lists. My daily planner lists things I want to accomplish and includes everything from laundry to lesson planning to long naps. So naturally, I am thrilled when I can throw down a checkmark. But it is just as satisfying to cross things off when I realize they are no longer necessary or when I don't want them anymore—or circling the things that still need my attention, which is my symbol to defer them to the next day.
The most essential about my list is that it is not permanent; it can move around, morph and change into whatever I want. Does that make me flakey or non-committal? Not at all.
We are all rebels. It's easy for us to get passionate in an argument with someone else, even when arguing against our own beliefs. Typical weight-loss diets can cause weight gain because no one wants to be confined, and we will go hard against serious intentions to prove our autonomy.
My list-making is a form of goal-setting. It makes tangible my ideas, wants, desires and responsibilities by giving me tasks to actualize them.
So, I guess goals can be great, but we must teach goal-setting in a way that removes the product-driven mindset. Because what happens if the product isn't what was expected or is never received? Does that mean all the work, time, and energy in the journey was wasted?
Suppose we will use goals as an incentive for committing to the process. In that case, we must understand that doing so doesn't make the goal any more critical than the process - and that if the process or the goal becomes something we don't want anymore, abandoning either does not make us a failure.
Yes, at times, we have to do things we don't necessarily love to achieve something we do; this is especially true for our health. For example, after an injury, the body must rest to recuperate. And then, sometimes, painful and challenging rehabilitation is needed. But even still, we must train ourselves and those in our care that the healing journey is as important as being healthy.
When we are free to pursue our dreams, knowing the investment is as valuable (or sometimes more) than what we imagine will be the return, we are free to love what we do no matter what.
Didn't get the part? Although disappointing, it's just one piece of the sweet pie of experience. Without over-emphasizing getting the role, we can feel satisfied with every step we take and every decision we make because we are simply on a journey. Nothing can be a Make or Break thing - it's all learning, it's never-ending, and it's all good.
Now, we don't have to throw out everything we know about Goal-Setting or how to approach it to aid our students. But, we can incorporate ideas about being present in the moments as we lead ourselves authentically toward our goals.
I call this the HOW - the Highway Of Winning. It may sound pretty fast and fancy, but it's just a method of keeping your steps along your journey as visible as your goals.
Download the PDFs to start your lists.
I'd love to know how you feel about this approach and discuss your thoughts!
Until then,
Miss Jen
